FASHION Diaries
Beyond The Hills
Amy MacPherson
Amy MacPherson reports on the dramatic third season of The Hills
The Hills is back! Amy MacPherson takes on another season of The Hills, as LC and company continue the drama. Check back every Tuesday for witty, opinionated episode recaps.
Posts with category "I {heart} TV"
Episode 28: The next move is yours
Posted on May 14, 2008
Audrina and Justin are checking out a gorgeous loft in downtown L.A. “I feel like I’m so far away from everyone,” Audrina says. “But think about it—don’t you always try to get away from where you’re at right now?” Justin asks, sounding entirely too reasonable for someone whose sunglass arms are wedged in his ears. “I live by myself right now in the guesthouse, so it’s like I might as well get my own place,” Audrina concedes.
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Episode 27: No Place Like Home
Posted on May 7, 2008
Heidi walks into Brent Bolthouse’s office and gets down to business. “I know that you guys have been expanding everywhere… I wanna be a part of this company as much as I can, so I would love to get my hands in there and make myself as available to you as much as I can,” she says, “especially if that means travelling or relocating.” Who wouldn’t want to give more responsibility to such an eloquent person, who’s not at all using her job as a way to escape her problems?
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Episode 26: A date with the past
Posted on April 29, 2008
Lauren, Lo and Audrina tour their new house, which is, as they exclaim five times, "so pretty!" Audrina will apparently be living in the guesthouse instead of in the main house with the others. "Are you going to be O.K. staying back here?" Lauren asks.
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Episode 25: A new roommate
Posted on April 22, 2008
They made it out of Teen Vogue's closet, but Lauren and Whitney still have to fold clothes – as we open, they're doing just that at People's Revolution. As usual, they're discussing Lauren's social life as they work. Lauren's worried that Audrina's recent spate of outings with Heidi will lead to more home visits. "I can't tell [Audrina] what to do in her home," Lauren says, "but at the same time, it's my home as well, and I don't want people in there that I don't get along with."
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Episode 24: Girls night out
Posted on April 15, 2008
Despite assuring Lauren last week that she had no intention of befriending Heidi, Audrina is all too quick to accompany her to lunch when Heidi shows up at Epic Records. Heidi is grateful and doesn't mind showing it. "You don't know how nice it is to be able to talk to you again," she gushes. She invites Audrina along on a girls' night out – "No boys, no Spencer," she declares. I'm sure that plan will work out perfectly.
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Episode 23: Just be careful
Posted on April 9, 2008
As the show opens, Whitney is busy recapping her New York trip for Lauren, detailing all of her backstage duties. "That's like my ideal job," Lauren says wistfully. "I know," Whitney replies. "I mean, while I was doing it, I was like, 'Lauren would be loving this right now.'"
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Episode 22: When Spencer finds out
Posted on April 8, 2008
Post–computer class. Lauren invites Steph and her fluffy bangs to her 22nd birthday bash. Steph clearly wants to go (who wouldn't, when the alternative is hanging out at home with Spencer?), but shockingly, she doesn't want to cause any drama. "Are you sure you really want me there? I mean, I am Spencer's sister," she says. "I don't care if you're Spencer's sister," Lauren replies. "I'm not gonna dislike someone because of their blood."
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Episode 21: An unexpected friend
Posted on April 1, 2008
We open in Lauren's computer class at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising. Her instructor is calling the roll. "Lauren? Hey, Lauren. Daniella, her last name is Usher? Hi. Stephanie Pratt?" Lauren's eyes widen as Spencer's sister makes a fashionably late entrance and takes a seat only two down from hers. "The first day, it's difficult for some people," the instructor says. Lady, you don't know how right you are.
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Episode 20: Back to L.A.
Posted on April 1, 2008
"Sometimes going away gives you a different perspective on things. But when you come home, everything is different," Lauren says in her opening voiceover. She illustrates this point by letting Audrina know that she's over Brody now. Yep, she's totally over him. Doesn't care about his new "girlfriend" at all. Certainly won't cause a scene the next time she sees him. Nope.
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Episode 19: Paris changes everything
Posted on March 25, 2008
We open in Paris! Lauren and Whitney get off the plane and meet their driver. "What do we want to do?" Whitney asks, foolishly assuming that they will have any free time. "You have your itinerary," the driver says. The girls consult it, see that they're supposed to pick up shoes for two of the Crillon Ball's debutantes… and decide to go to Alberta Ferretti and get their own gowns instead. Paris certainly hasn't changed their ability to follow directions!
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Episode 18: Au revoir, L.A.
Posted on December 11, 2007
Teen Vogue. Lisa Love calls Whitney into her office and nonchalantly informs her that she’s going back to Paris to work at the annual Crillon Ball. I suspect she delivers her pronouncements so matter-of-factly just to see Whitney’s surprised facial expressions, and this remark earns her a good one: Whitney’s eyes almost pop out of her head. “What about Lauren? Is she coming?” Whitney asks. “I think Lauren had her chance to go to Paris,” Lisa replies.
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Episode 17: Once a player...
Posted on December 4, 2007
Outdoor café. Lauren and Brody are lunching, and it’s highly romantic, as usual. “Wow, your eyes look very beautiful right now,” Brody says. “They look very blue…ish. I need to get some eyes like that.” He could use some new eyes, as his just won’t stop wandering: “Little cuties everywhere,” he remarks offhandedly, checking out another girl. He glances back at Lauren long enough to notice that her bluish eyes have narrowed. “Kidding,” he says.
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Episode 16: A night at the opera
Posted on November 28, 2007
Hillside Villas. “Morning!” Audrina chirps as she enters the kitchen. Lauren, clearly not a morning person, responds with a grunt. “I have to tell you something!” Audrina says excitedly. “Tell me,” Lauren mutters, but she perks up when she hears Audrina’s news: Spencer’s heretofore-unseen sister Stephanie told Audrina off at a club last night. “I’ve met that girl before… she’s a loony,” Lauren says. Lauren fears the “She-Pratt” more than she does Spencer: “At the end of the day, a guy can’t hit a girl. A girl can hit a girl.”
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Episode 15: With this ring...
Posted on November 20, 2007
We only have a few episodes left, so Heidi thinks it’s high time that she and Spencer set a date for their big fancy church wedding. “I say we elope to Cabo,” Spencer suggests. Heidi’s not impressed. “I can’t believe we’re still fighting about this… I didn’t even think guys really cared,” she says. “I don’t,” Spencer replies. Heidi ignores this gigantic red flag and focuses on the semantics: “So let me do what I want, if you don’t care.” Defeated, Spencer agrees that she can handle everything from here on out. “Just tell me what day to be there. I’ll wear a suit.”
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Episode 14: Forgive and forget
Posted on November 13, 2007
Teen Vogue. Lisa Love enters Lauren and Whitney’s office/closet and tells the girls that she wants them to attend Norman Lear’s Declare Yourself event celebrating the power of the vote. “Go, enjoy yourselves,” she says, handing them a flier. The girls just happen to check out the website for the event, and Whitney just happens to notice that Brent Bolthouse is on the advisory board. “Isn’t that Heidi’s boss?” Whitney asks. “Do you think Heidi will be there?”
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Episode 13: Party time
Posted on November 7, 2007
We open, once again, at the church, which is now full of sofas, chairs and trees (which certainly cannot be mistaken for tabletop arrangements–Amy Astley will be pleased). Lisa Love greets Lauren and Whitney as they enter, then hands out their Young Hollywood party assignments: Lauren will work backstage while Whitney handles things out front.
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Episode 12: New York, New York
Posted on October 30, 2007
We open with Whitney in church–no, not a cleverly named nightclub, but an actual church! Whitney’s not there to confess, though–in fact, she wants to turn the confessionals into photo booths when Teen Vogue’s Young Hollywood party takes over the space. As she and Lisa Love discuss placing a runway down the aisle and a band on the altar, they miraculously avoid being struck down by divine lightning.
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Episode 11: Jealousy
Posted on October 23, 2007
We open with Lauren and Brody on a date… a friend date, apparently, as Lauren pouts that she hasn’t been on a “real date” in three whole weeks! Brody counsels her on what to look for in her next guy: “Somebody who’s not Mr. Perfect all the time… somebody who’s gotta be a little bit of a bad boy.” He seems to be hinting at himself here, and Lauren sweetly refrains from pointing out that bad boys neither ask her to cuddle nor cry when she breaks their fingers.
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Episode 10: What Goes Around
Posted on October 16, 2007
In her opening voiceover, Lauren tells us that she hasn’t spoken to Audrina since their fight in Vegas.
Teen Vogue. “How was Vegas?” Whitney asks. “Brody kissed me,” Lauren replies, smirking as she watches Whitney’s eyes widen with familiar exaggerated astonishment. Then, aware that Lauren must receive all important, plot-advancing texts while at work, Jen Bunney takes this opportunity to message Lauren and tell her she really needs to talk.
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Episode 9: Vegas, Baby
Posted on October 2, 2007
In her opening voiceover, Lauren informs us that after last week’s Jason/Katja debacle, she needs to get away for a while, and so is flying to Vegas to surprise Brody for his birthday.
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Episode 8: The Road to Marriage
Posted on September 25, 2007
Outdoor café. Lauren and Jason are lunching and laughing, but as usual, the good times last about 30 seconds before Jason screws things up.
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Episode 7: They Meet Again
Posted on September 18, 2007
Hillside Villas. Audrina returns home after a weekend away with Justin Bobby. She tells Lauren that she and J.B. “had good talks, fooled around and were silly,” and that J.B. finally agreed to be her boyfriend. We don’t see him in this episode, though, because he’s at home recovering from his lobotomy.
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Episode Six: Double Trouble
Posted on September 11, 2007
Last week: Spencer dumped Brody and almost looked sad about it, and Justin Bobby swore a lot.
Teen Vogue. Boss-lady Whitney is busily typing away at her computer, while lowly underling Lauren uses a simple pencil and paper. Whitney, as usual, asks what’s been going on, and Lauren, as usual, has boy-related news: Ex-boyfriend Jason is out of rehab and back in her life. Although Lauren makes light of the fact that he only seems to show up when everything’s going great for her, she looks worried.
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Episode Five: Rolling with the Enemy
Posted on September 4, 2007
We open at the Hillside Villas, where Lauren and Audrina are discussing (what else?) boys. Audrina plans to give Justin Bobby yet another chance, and Lauren is gloating over the fact that Brody has forsaken Spencer’s company for hers. “My, how the tables have turned,” she grins. Our sweet little Lauren actually looks quite devilish here; I almost expected to rub her hands together with glee and let slip an adorably evil laugh.
Bolthouse. What looks like the entire staff is meeting to discuss an important soccer-related event, but first, Brent Bolthouse just has to ask Heidi what’s up with Brody and Lauren hanging out again! Since when does Heidi’s boss care about her ex-best-friend’s social life?
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Episode 4: Meet the Parents
Posted on August 28, 2007
We open in a jewellery store. As they wait for Heidi’s ring to be resized so it will actually stay on her finger, Heidi asks Spencer if he’ll accompany her to Colorado for the weekend to meet her family. Spencer reminds her that Brody’s BBQ, which they’ve been planning for two months, is happening at the same time. Unfortunately for him, Heidi’s been perfecting her passive-aggressive pouting technique, and he quickly relents. “I’d much rather go meet your family,” he lies.
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Episode Three: The Evaluation
Posted on August 22, 2007
Last week: Spencer surprised Heidi with graffiti in the living room and a “high-end” engagement ring. Audrina dated a guy named Justin, whose friends inexplicably refer to him as “Bobby.”
Hillside Villas. Audrina has scheduled a date with Justin Bobby and invites Lauren along. It’s obvious Lauren’s not a huge J.B. fan, but the normally commitment-phobic Audrina’s considering making him her first real boyfriend, so she’s willing to give him a chance. “You’re a smart girl; you know what you’re doing,” Lauren says. Audrina nods unconvincingly.
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Episode Two: Big Girls Don't Cry
Posted on August 15, 2007
Previously on The Hills: Heidi knows what she did!
We open at an outdoor café, where Spencer and Heidi (I refuse to call them Speidi, thank you) are talking home decoration. Spencer vetoes Heidi’s suggestion of light yellow walls with an obnoxious error buzzer sound that is still preferable to 90 per cent of what comes out of his mouth.
After the opening credits, we join Lauren and Audrina at home. Audrina is doing her makeup and Lauren is torturing a poor defenseless kitten by dressing it in a tiny sweater. The girls discuss Justin, a prince of a guy who once abandoned Audrina in Vegas and who’s taking her out on a date that very evening. Lauren doesn’t like the sound of that.
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Episode 1: You Know What You Did
Posted on August 14, 2007
Previously on The Hills, Lauren Conrad moved from Laguna Beach to Los Angeles, juggled classes at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising with an internship at Teen Vogue, and stumbled through a series of personal crises that ended with her giving the boot to best friends Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney, as well as controlling boyfriend Jason Wahler.
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