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CNTM Episode 1: Girls gone wild

In the first episode of Canada’s Next Top Model, we meet some wildly beautiful creatures, 11 also beautiful Top Model hopefuls and Jay Manuel’s sweet new ride.

Best use of the sublimely ridiculous: Jay arrives in a helicopter, because it’s not fashion unless your mode of transport is completely absurd.

Dirtiest trick: You think we’re going to say it was when Jay pretended to “pick” the top 10, who were actually models, leaving the actual top 11 to freak the hell out. But, we liked the “You’re doing this shoot with a partner” curveball. The girls are thinking male models, the producers were thinking more along the lines of wolves, snakes and vultures. Watching people squeal and squirm around snakes (not saying we wouldn’t) is no end of fun. Though the girls seem more frightened of Nigel Barker’s hotness.

Bonus: The animals are all rescue animals because Nigel Barker is also a spokesperson for the Humane Society in the US.

Groan: Alexandra decides to go home due to pain from a car accident injury. Linsay calls bullshit on that in the confessional. We bet the twelfth girl is totally thrilled.

Weirdest strategy: Nikita deciding not to tell the other contestants that she has international modelling experience because…why? She doesn’t want to intimidate the other girls? We’re confused.

Actual good intimidation strategy: Not only do challenge winner, Heather, and two friends, Jill and Nikita, get to go to the ice floes off PEI to look at baby seals–there’s a helicopter involved, naturally–and do an extra shoot with Nigel, they get their own room at the model penthouse, nicer linens and better shoes. Good shoes are totally intimidating.

Home sweet home: We’ve been in that penthouse at the Soho Met, and it does indeed rule.

Hot tub comment that made us roll our eyes: Tiffany– “Out of who here would you make out with?”

Unecessary trash talk: Nikita about Heather, after Heather puts a boot through the ice, “She tries not to be the ditzy blonde; she’s such a ditzy blonde.” Do not cross blonde girls.

Awesome trash talk: Rebeccah obnoxiously bursts in to tell a sleeping Nikita that she has the same dress that Rebeccah is planning on wearing to the elimination. Nikita mutters to her “Sealed Off” flatmates: “I don’t ever want to wear that dress now. She ruined it for me.” We may start loving to hate Nikita.

Favourite elimination outfit: Jay, obviously, but that’s not sporting, so Meaghan.

Most Canadian moment: Ebonie and judge Mike Ruiz discover they’re both from the same Montreal suburb and then have a table-slapping conversation in French.

Best elimination quote: Nigel to Jill– “You give a lotta hoochie.”

Why me? moment: Heather tumbles down the stairs as she goes to take her photo from Jay.

Buh-bye: Tiffany