True Blood recap: In the finale episode, we take wardrobe cues from Sookie, Jessica, Nan, Lafayette, Bill, and the whole gang!
In the penultimate episode we saw the Fangtastic Four and part-fae Sookie kill Marnie, though they were as yet unawares she’s now inhabiting Lafayette. Marcus got his neck snapped by Alcide, who then abjured Debbie (a.k.a were-speak for “never going to see you again”), Andy had sex with a faery, and Jason seemed to make peace with wanting Jessica.
Breakfast With Old Friends
-Sookie is in her PJs pouring coffee for her and Tara and having a flashback to Gran’s dead body on the kitchen floor from season one (in the name of subtle foreshadowing).
-Sookie tells Tara about Marnie channelling Gran at the Moon Goddess Emporium and says that she feels like Gran’s spirit is here hanging around.
-They have an International Delights–worthy chat about growing old together as friends.
-Lafayette and Jesus are having breakfast, but that’s not Lafayette! It’s Marnie in there under those orange track pants and a white satin chinoiserie robe.
-When Jesus realizes it isn’t Lafayette he’s kissing, Marnie stabs him in the hand with a fork.
-Next thing she’s got Jesus taped to what looks to be the ugliest blue plastic chair; we have doubts Lafayette would ever own such a thing.
-Marnie is talking about sacrifice to Jesus and cuts Lafayette with a knife to show she’s serious. She wants Jesus’s magic for herself.
-To stop her from hurting Lafayette, Jesus turns into the brujo with the crazy face, and Marnie stabs him and licks the blood and turns into a brujo herself (but still in LaLa’s body).
-Tara shows up at Lafayette and Jesus’s. She’s wearing disturbingly light denim jeans, a chambray shirt, and a peach tank top. She looks like she should be hanging out in Santa Cruz in the early ’80s.
-Uh oh, the door is ajar. She sees a stabbed Jesus in the chair. Dead. Screams.
Trick or Treat
-Jason goes to meet Hoyt who’s doing some heavy road sawing. Mmm, sweaty, blue-collar worker: our third-favourite type on True Blood.
-After he gives himself a pep talk in the truck, he asks Hoyt to put the chainsaw down.
-Then, bam! He says: “I had sex with Jessica.”
-Hoyt laughs, but then Jason tells him he’s serious. Hoyt asks how and bimbo Jason rattles off positions not motivations.
-Hoyt punches him. Twice. Then kicks him while he’s down. What he and Jess had was real. Hoyt stomps off.
-Jessica shows up at Jason’s. He’s got a popsicle on his black eye, and she’s dressed as Li’l Red Riding Hood, but the booty-call version.
-They have sex on his couch, and we think with all her pale skin against the velvet of her cape she looks like that Yves Saint Laurent Opium add of naked Sophie Dahl.
-She tells him, in-between thrusts, that she doesn’t want anything serious. He’s bummed but finds a way to move past it and keep going at it. (That’s our boy!)
-Afterwards, Jessica is putting on her garter, while Jason asks her how the sex was (clingy, ew!) and tells her she’s like no other girl he’s been with.
-She assures him that he’s hot and says she needs to go because she’s hungry. We’re guessing that feeding after sex is the equivalent of a cigarette for vamps.
-She takes off, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s not Jess back for another round. It’s crazy Steve Newlin of the Fellowship of the Sun. And he’s a vampire!
Jessica’s guide to what to wear for a Halloween hookup
Like most teenagers, Jessica opts to take an innocent costume theme and make it overboard sexy for Halloween. She’s a redhead not afraid to wear the same colour in her corset, like this Frederick’s of Hollywood halter corset ($65, fredericksofhollywood.com).
Zombies Are So Hot Right Now
-At the graveyard, Sam is saying goodbye to Tommy. He is joined by Mrs. Fortenberry in her finest paisley mourning look, complete with jet costume jewellery and bronze nail polish.
-She tells Sam to call her “mama” from now on. Poor Maxine, she’s a mama bear in need of a cub.
-Luna and Emma show up and comfort Sam. Uh, didn’t Emma’s dad just get murdered? Guess they don’t hate Sam for it.
-Back at Merlotte’s, it’s Halloween, which somehow escaped Sookie. At least Terry and Arlene are in the spirit, dressed as zombies. “Zombies are the new vampires,” Arlene says to a spooked Sookie.
-Sookie goes to check on Sam once she hears about Tommy, and they chat about her being fired. He doesn’t tell her about Tommy and the body snatching but gives her her old job back.
-He’s not so bummed about his brother’s death that he can’t enjoy Halloween, and he gives Sookie some ears and dons a boat captain’s cap (no Hot Cop uniform for him, wah wah).
Sookie’s guide to what to wear to get your job back, again
Pull your hair back in a professional-looking bun, and wear something country because that’s what Sam likes. A simple flowered scoop-neck top, jeans, and a brown leather jacket, like this one by Asos ($215, asos.com), says “I’m not trouble, just the girl next door.”
Fairy Dust
-Out front, in walks Sgt. Patrick Devins (a.k.a. actor Scott Foley), looking for Private Bellefleur. He and Terry embrace, but that’s about all we get on the Sarge.
-Alcide and Sookie have a heart-to-heart at the bar; he wants the both of them to follow their brains and ditch the drama their hearts keep signing them up for. Um, Alcide, we think you need to up the romance a bit—Sookie’s used to having hot vampire sex.
-Before Sookie has to give a definitive answer, Alcide’s iPhone rings and from his stressed-out whispers, Sookie smells trouble. But Alcide won’t share what’s up and runs off.
-Out in the parking lot where Sookie’s checking on the pumpkins, Holly is dressed up like a glittery fairy and smoking a joint, which startles our fae-scarred Sookie.
-Holly tells Sookie about why Wiccans like Halloween: It’s when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. No wonder Sookie sensed Gran.
-Tara runs up to Merlotte’s and tells them Marnie is back! And killed Jesus! And is inside Lafayette! She’s pretty good with the assumptions considering all she saw was dead Jesus, not Lafayette getting possessed by a spirit in Mexico.
-Despite just getting her job back, Sookie takes off with Holly and Tara like the Bon Temps Charlie’s Angels. Merlotte’s Angels?
Alcide’s guide to wooing a telepathic waitress
Just like Sookie knows the allure of a sundress, Alcide never wanders off the course of flannel. His choice tonight really brought out his olive complexion, and since we couldn’t find one that compared, we went for this red Levi’s Vintage Clothing plaid shirt ($256, nomadshop.net) to symbolize our season-long love affair with the buff were and his uniform of choice.
Ghost Whispering
-Dead bodies are on the ground at King Bill’s, and shirtless Eric and Bill are chained in silver to a pole with wood piled underneath. Still sexy.
-Merlotte’s Angels show up and possessed Lafayette is in a batik caftan (Marnie loves long dresses) and a ton of necklaces and one long earring. The getup gets the up-and-down from Sooks.
-Marnie starts the fire under Bill and Eric, and Holly stealthily pours salt in a circle around them and the vamp bonfire. Sookie zaps Marnie in an attempt to stop her.
-Marnie turns into a brujo and is trapped outside the circle as our Merlotte’s Angles chant within it and Bill and Eric go from rare to medium.
-Speaking of mediums, they summon dead people to come out of the nearby graveyard, including Antonia who blows out the fire.
-Antonia is here to take Marnie “home,” but that witch does not want to go.
-Spirit Gran shows up in her nightie and pulls Marnie out of Lafayette, who lays there unconscious.
-Marnie whines about her sad life with only dead spirits for friends.
-Antonia tells her that she’ll be at peace, but the vamps won’t be, and eventually Marnie concedes.
-Before Gran can go with the rest of the spirits, Sookie cries and asks her for advice. We’re too distracted by Gran’s weird mix of white and black hair to get carried away in the moment. Punk rock in the afterlife?
-She tells Sookie not to worry about being alone, since we are all alone at the end. Yes, Gran, but there’s no hot vampire sex to be had when you’re alone.
-Sookie cries as Gran disappears along with the rest of the spirits including Marnie and Antonia.
-Lafayette starts to come to as Eric gets pissy because no one is helping him and Bill out of their silver chains.
Marnie’s guide to raiding Lafayette’s jewellery box
With a caftan you really can go all out with your accessories. Even more so if you’re a homicidal spirit just inhabiting the body wearing the jewellery—let them deal with the fashion-police consequences once you’re gone. We didn’t know that Marnie was so forward thinking as to go with just one earring, but that she did. Get a similar long and be-feathered dangler when you buy a pair of Cynthia Dugan Jewelry earrings ($60, shopbop.com).
It’s Not You… Or You
-At Fangtasia, Ginger is comforting Pam, who’s upset that someone with a dumb name like Sookie has taken Eric away from her.
-Tara is trying to comfort Lafayette, who’s in bed mourning the death of Jesus. They’ll get through this together, she says.
-Lafayette wakes up: Jesus has been resurrected, at least in spirit form. He says, “Don’t worry about it babe; I am cool with being dead.”
-Lafayette is still really bummed. Jesus kisses him goodbye and says he’ll always be with him, because, duh, dude, Lafayette is a medium and he’s a spirit.
-At King Bill’s, Sookie is being fed on by Eric and Bill to heal them. The boys are wearing matching robes with a crest. Of course they are.
-Sookie delivers a speech: She can’t imagine a life without either of them, but feels torn in half loving both of them.
-She forgives Bill as Eric looks on, his heart breaking at the thought of losing her, and Bill tells her she’s the love of his life. But then she turns to Eric and tells him it’s not just Goofy Eric she fell for but all of him—which makes him smile goofy—and that a part of her has always wanted him. Bill tries not to look hurt.
-Then she tells them both: this is the hardest decision she’s ever had to make, but she chooses neither of them. Sookie, like Kelly Taylor when she was forced to choose between Brandon and Dylan in season five of 90210, goes the same route: I choose me.
-Outside she breaks down crying on Bill’s porch.
King Bill’s guide to guest robes
It’s got to be the best and monogrammed with a crest. A rich, striped Derek Rose dressing gown ($1,060, mrporter.com) puts the “king” in “striking.”
Scenes From Merlotte’s Parking Lot
-At Merlotte’s, Andy is waiting with a Halloween bouquet for Holly in the parking lot.
-We’re not sure if it’s step five or nine in the Twelve-Step Program, but he tells her about being a V addict and why he used.
-Holly tells him it’s all a bit too much. He says, “Cool, I got baggage and I am here when you’re ready. Just being lonely by myself until then.”
-She asks him for a hug, she could really use one. We keep waiting for him to say something about her being dressed like a fairy and him having had sex with one, but nothing.
-Out back, Sam and Luna are making out. She can’t stay but wishes she could; she needs to get Emma home because her dad died. (Finally!)
-He starts to say she and Emma are the best thing that ever happened to him, but she’s worried he’ll jinx their newfound happiness with cutesy statements.
-As she drives off, Sam is surprised by a growling wolf.
-Meanwhile, Arlene is taking out the trash and gets a visit from her dead ex, Rene.
-He warns her that trouble is coming, and it’s going to be from Terry.
-As she protests and Rene disappears, Terry comes out looking for her, and she’s clearly spooked but doesn’t tell him why.
More Cliffhangers Than Sly Stallone
-Alcide goes to a parking garage where the cement has been dug up and there are silver chains lying there. We’re guessing those would belong to last-season’s villain du jour, Russell Edgington. Yay!
-Nan Flan stomps her way into Bill’s with her guards. He’s recovered and is wearing one of his King Bill suits while Sheriff Northman is back to his leather-jacket best.
-She’s not impressed that Marnie has been killed, but there are bigger issues.
-She may be having a mid-millennial crisis, but Nan quit (read: fired) the American Vampire League and is no longer aligned with ambiguously titled The Authority.
-Her last duty was supposed to be delivering the true death to Bill and Eric, but she wants them to join her mutiny. She says they better sign up if they want to keep their faery waitress alive.
-Eric beheads the guards and Bill slays Nan after she calls them puppy dogs slobbering after the same bone (a.k.a. Sookie).
-Meanwhile Sookie arrives home to find Debbie and a shotgun. She’s got on her trashy biker gear and has a crazy look in her eyes.
-She shoots at Sookie, but Tara runs interference and gets the bullet push Sooks out of the way. What about growing old on the porch?
-Sookie wrestles the gun away from Debbie and shoots her after only a moment’s hesitation.
-She runs to Tara, who is bleeding out of her brain, and Sookie cries for help. Please somebody, help!
Nan’s guide to what to wear to start your own rebel vamp faction
If you’re Nan, there’s only one way to go when you’re feeling the urge to be a badass: black leather. Nan likes hers to have slight military flare and a belted waist like this Burberry leather jacket ($2,300, saks.com). We’ll miss you Nan Flan!
Well Hookers—as Lafayette would say—that is it for fashionmagazine.com’s True Blood season four fashion recaps. We’ve loved sharing this roller coaster of hormones with you: Eric’s amnesiac fashion choices (will sleeveless hoodies ever be the same?) and Sookie’s sundresses that always get her action, Bill’s suits and Pam’s outrageous getups. Until next season, we’ll just have to make do with memories. Thanks for reading!
