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SNP’s word of the day: Babeyoncé
Illustration by Lewis Mirrett
Word: Babeyoncé
Meaning: The primary offspring of Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z; synonym: the Saviour.
Usage: “And now for your first Babeyonce update of 2012: There’s still no baby.” —a reporter at Jezebel.com
You should know it because: Yeah, I can be something of a doomsdaying Debbie when I want to be. But it’s a new, shining year. And there is hope. For as prophesied by the Bible, in the Book of Revelations, there will come again a Messiah who will rule Heaven and Earth, and his name is… Babeyoncé!
Guys, I’m not joking. Beyoncé is the most perfect woman to walk the Earth since the Virgin Mary (I myself didn’t believe this until I watched her performance at Glastonbury)—but better because she knows how to have sex (those thighs don’t lie). Jay-Z, meanwhile, is The King and also owns an NBA team, which in America is the next best thing to being president or Oprah, probably. What could their baby possibly be except a superhuman of—nay, exceeding—Nietzschean proportions? Yesterday I read, like, 16 tweets about how this saviour of all mankind was about to pop, but don’t listen to Twitter. Wait for the first clap of nuclear-level thunder, for the whole sky to rain gold, and then you’ll know: Babeyoncé is here. We are saved.
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