Downton Abbey recap: We discuss Patrick’s ridiculous return from the dead, Cora’s new hat, Carlisle’s psycho turn, and the Earl’s flirting habits
By Randi Bergman and Paige Dzenis
This week on our favourite show on earth, WWI came neatly to a close with all of the Abbey-ers coming to celebrate in the Great Hall. But before that could happen, we were further thrust into the war’s wreckage with the introduction of a newly deformed character, Patrick Crawley! You know, the one who died on the Titanic five years earlier? Yeah, him. Complete with burnt-off face and more, he returns to threaten (the also damaged) Matthew’s claim to the role of heir. To boot, Carlisle’s quickly turning into the psycho we knew he’d be, Vera dies a very messy death, and worst of all, Carson’s poached from his service! The horror!
Let’s take a look back at the hovering-on-the-ridiculous episode »
Find out how to win the Season One and Season Two DVDs! »
Best hat: Cora, while you spent the entire episode plotting to get rid of Cousin Isobel and bring back Lavinia, we were really into your new indigo and black attire. The Crawleys have been repeating their outfits over the past few episodes (what war?), so it was nice to see the Countess break out the showstoppers again, including that stunning hat!
Worst embarrassment of Canada: Of course the only mention of our fair country would have to do with a deformed probable scammer who has risen from both the wreckage of the Titanic and the ashes of the battlefield. Like the rest of the Crawley family, we’re skeptical that this gremlin mummy ghost (or GMG as we referred to him in the last recap) is the real Patrick Crawley. Who loses their accent after five years? And changes their voice too? And plays a guessing game for half the episode with the entire family? And, above all, who flirts with Edith?
Best way to get kicked out of the Abbey, Jazzy Jeff styles: Cousin Isobel, will you ever learn? We’d think you would be especially wise to keep your bossy mouth shut, now that your relevance in the house is being questioned.
Worst emo of the early 20th century: We know a lot’s gone wrong for you in the last little while Matthew, but can you take the self-indulgence down a notch? You’ll be the “cat that walks alone”? That’s not even a real expression.
Best pick up line: “I wish I knew how a car worked” just begs for some cross–class line touching. We know Sybil and Branson’s makeout sesh is coming, why not just give it to us already?
Worst poach: Sir Richard, keep your hands off Carson! While we assume that, like everything in Edwardian times, it would be years and years before Richard and Mary move in to Hacksby Park, it’s obvious Carson doesn’t want to leave… but typical Downton pride and means he can’t say no to Mary.
Best way to get rid of Sir Richard: We all knew this day was coming, but it didn’t take very long for Carlisle to turn into the husband from Sleeping with the Enemy. Mary, work your bedroom, uh, magic. Richard’s making threats and has you backed into a corner. Need we remind you that the last time a man was that forceful, he ended up dead? You need to get Richard under your sheets, stat!
Best way to avoid widow wear: Daisy’s so insistent that her marriage to William was a sham that she’s opted for a wee black armband rather than the customary head-to-toe black (that, come to think of it, every single other servant wears).
Worst affair just waiting to happen: How convenient for the mysterious new maid to show up just when the Earl’s looking to reassert his manhood. We’re not huge fans of Cora, but she’s certainly ten times the woman that this little missy is sure to be (see: first point).
Best fictional place we’d like to know more about: Mrs. Hughes continues to take care of Ethel and the secret baby, but still doesn’t have much sympathy for the situation she’s in. She reminds the ex maid that she got herself in trouble by breaking the rules, and that she shouldn’t have expected any help from the father in the first place. After all, Ethel did “what all men want to do behind the bicycle sheds every night.” Wait, what? Mrs. Hughes, we’d really like to know where these bicycle sheds are and what’s going on behind them!
Best tingles: Matthew!! What is going on down there? Did you feel your legs or… perhaps something more? If things are healing, we’re heir-y, heir-y interested.
Best death: We really didn’t think he’d have it in him, but we would love it if Bates was indeed responsible for Vera’s cataclysmic demise. Way to stick it to her, wuss! And in the middle of dinner too!
And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 6 next Monday February 13! You can catch new episodes of Downton Abbey Sunday nights at 9 p.m on PBS
In the meantime, tell us what you thought of the episode and you could win a DVD prize pack of Season One and Season Two, courtesy of eOne Films. And be sure to come back because we’ll be selecting a new winner each week!
 Matthew’s claim to the role of heir. To boot, Carlisle’s quickly turning into the psycho we knew he’d be, Vera dies a very messy death, and worst of all, Carson’s poached from his service! The horror!
Let's take a look back at the hovering-on-the-ridiculous episode »
Find out how to win the Season One and Season Two DVDs! »
Best hat: Cora, while you spent the entire episode plotting to get rid of Cousin Isobel and bring back Lavinia, we were really into your new indigo and black attire. The Crawleys have been repeating their outfits over the past few episodes (what war?), so it was nice to see the Countess break out the showstoppers again, including that stunning hat!
Worst embarrassment of Canada: Of course the only mention of our fair country would have to do with a deformed probable scammer who has risen from both the wreckage of the Titanic and the ashes of the battlefield. Like the rest of the Crawley family, we’re skeptical that this gremlin mummy ghost (or GMG as we referred to him in the last recap) is the real Patrick Crawley. Who loses their accent after five years? And changes their voice too? And plays a guessing game for half the episode with the entire family? And, above all, who flirts with Edith?
Best way to get kicked out of the Abbey, Jazzy Jeff styles: Cousin Isobel, will you ever learn? We’d think you would be especially wise to keep your bossy mouth shut, now that your relevance in the house is being questioned.
Worst emo of the early 20th century: We know a lot’s gone wrong for you in the last little while Matthew, but can you take the self-indulgence down a notch? You’ll be the “cat that walks alone”? That’s not even a real expression.
[caption id="attachment_75152" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="Photography By Nick Briggs/ITV For Masterpiece Courtesy Of eOne Films"][/caption]
Best pick up line: “I wish I knew how a car worked” just begs for some cross–class line touching. We know Sybil and Branson’s makeout sesh is coming, why not just give it to us already?
Worst poach: Sir Richard, keep your hands off Carson! While we assume that, like everything in Edwardian times, it would be years and years before Richard and Mary move in to Hacksby Park, it’s obvious Carson doesn’t want to leave… but typical Downton pride and means he can’t say no to Mary.
Best way to get rid of Sir Richard: We all knew this day was coming, but it didn’t take very long for Carlisle to turn into the husband from Sleeping with the Enemy. Mary, work your bedroom, uh, magic. Richard’s making threats and has you backed into a corner. Need we remind you that the last time a man was that forceful, he ended up dead? You need to get Richard under your sheets, stat!
Best way to avoid widow wear: Daisy’s so insistent that her marriage to William was a sham that she’s opted for a wee black armband rather than the customary head-to-toe black (that, come to think of it, every single other servant wears).
[caption id="attachment_75153" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="Photography By Nick Briggs/ITV For Masterpiece Courtesy Of eOne Films"][/caption]
Worst affair just waiting to happen: How convenient for the mysterious new maid to show up just when the Earl’s looking to reassert his manhood. We’re not huge fans of Cora, but she’s certainly ten times the woman that this little missy is sure to be (see: first point).
Best fictional place we’d like to know more about: Mrs. Hughes continues to take care of Ethel and the secret baby, but still doesn’t have much sympathy for the situation she’s in. She reminds the ex maid that she got herself in trouble by breaking the rules, and that she shouldn’t have expected any help from the father in the first place. After all, Ethel did “what all men want to do behind the bicycle sheds every night.” Wait, what? Mrs. Hughes, we’d really like to know where these bicycle sheds are and what’s going on behind them!
Best tingles: Matthew!! What is going on down there? Did you feel your legs or… perhaps something more? If things are healing, we’re heir-y, heir-y interested.
Best death: We really didn’t think he’d have it in him, but we would love it if Bates was indeed responsible for Vera’s cataclysmic demise. Way to stick it to her, wuss! And in the middle of dinner too!
And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 6 next Monday February 13! You can catch new episodes of Downton Abbey Sunday nights at 9 p.m on PBS
In the meantime, tell us what you thought of the episode and you could win a DVD prize pack of Season One and Season Two, courtesy of eOne Films. And be sure to come back because we'll be selecting a new winner each week!){kind=link}