Downton Abbey recap: The Christmas Special teaches us to confess our true love, use Ouija boards, pick up new parents, and not to lock dogs in sheds
Best sexual innuendo: Was it just us, or did you notice lots of naughty jokes this episode? References to a woman’s touch (that way) and banging get second place mentions, but Isobel’s gifting Granny a nutcracker so she can “crack her nuts” was definitely the best.
Best way to Carson’s heart: Carson is overjoyed when the Earl gives him a book on British Royal families. If only he could have set all of their tables!
Worst way to disguise contract negotiations: Must we only hear about Sybil and Branson via tiny letter? It seems odd to exclude both characters entirely from the Christmas special—we travel back and forth from Bates’ prison cell to Downton but don’t get a single glance of pregnant Sybil’s Irish abode? Unfair!
Best make-under, again: Bates spends so much time trying to keep it classy, when he should really just give into his inner rebel. His uncoiffed prisoner’s hair has us almost ready to banish all thoughts of his post-coital bedroom eyes. Almost. That is, until Anna shows up and they weepily make out.
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