Mad Men Recap: Making light of the fact that something TERRIBLE happened (and Sally got her period…)
In the antepenultimate episode of Mad Men, some game done got changed. Namely, Peggy made a power move and left SCDP for the greener (and by “greener” we are referring to money) pastures of CGC as their chief copywriter. Joan slept her way to a five per cent share of the agency (and let’s be honest, we’re sure her skills helped land them the Jaguar account), Pete showed what a schmuck he is (again), Lane brought up the bonus (again), and Megan struggled with an audition and Don’s lack of support. But we’re getting close to the end here, so let’s see whether Peggy’s move will be the big shake up or if there are bigger exits ahead…
Read on for details (but no photos) of a hanging »
When Chad Covington chats with Don at the barber and makes a point of saying how impressed Jaguar was with Pete Campbell, what he’s really saying is…
“Watch he doesn’t get poached from your ‘little agency.’”
When the fellow from the American Association of Advertising Agencies praises Lane for keeping SCDP afloat, what he’s really thinking is…
“Will I get a chequebook?”
When Don says to the rest of the partners about voting on Jaguar’s fee structure: “Should I leave so you all can do whatever you want?” What he’s really saying is…
“I haven’t forgotten about how you guys left me out last week and I am going to keep bringing it up in a passive-aggressive fashion until I find something new to be pissy about.”
When we see Betty in her ski sweater, what we’re really thinking is…
She must have lost weight because she’s actually managing to look slimmer in the world’s chubbiest sweater.
When Betty says to Don about Sally wanting to stay in the city rather than go skiing: “She can sleep with the doorman for all I care.” What we’re really thinking is…
Be careful what you wish for, Betty.
When, after presenting Lane’s forged cheque, Bert says to Don: “You can’t keep being the good little boy while the adults run this business.” What he’s really saying is…
“Love leave is over Draper, time to do another tour of downer duty.” Does Don not tell Bert he knows nothing about the cheque because he wants to give Lane the benefit of the doubt? Or did last week’s betrayal of the partners making the Joan decision without him signal a shift that makes it him against them?
When Don threatens lying-about-his-fraud Lane with: “Do you want a professional to do it?” What he’s really saying is…
“You’re only making this more difficult for both of us by not admitting to it right away.” Don obviously feels betrayed by Lane’s stealing, but that Lane tries turning it around by telling Don that he’s the one who’s mistaken is just making this whole thing way worse for himself.
When Don tells Lane to explain his leaving SCDP to his family with: “You’ll tell them it didn’t work out because it didn’t.” What he’s really giving Lane is…
Creative he can use to spin his change-of-work status to his wife. But Lane will have to come up with spin to give the rest of the partners—Don’s advice: think of an “elegant exit.”
When Lane stares at a vacation-planning-glow Joan and mentions her in her bikini, what he’s really saying is…
“I won’t get to ogle this vixen at work anymore.” We almost wonder how little she’d have to say in the realm of vague encouragement before he’d ask to come along with her? Since he sees her as the only person in the office who gets him and is on his side, when she turns cold, it’s possibly a worse rejection than the one Don has just delivered.
When Roger breezily mentions the 25-year-old coat check girl he’s sleeping with to Don, what we’re really picturing is…
Roger picking up the coat check girl with some line like, “My coat’s the one with the Jaguar keys and a stack of bills in one pocket and in the other, keys to the hotel room you and I are going to go back to when you’re off work.”
When Roger and Ken meet in a cool bar to talk about the latter’s father-in-law, and Ken says he doesn’t want to be a partner and doesn’t want Pete involved in the Dow Chemical meetings, what he’s really saying is…
“I never want to look in the mirror and realize I’ve become anything remotely resembling Pete Campbell.” We don’t want that either you sweet, sci-fi loving dork.
When Megan starts in on Don about not respecting she has better things to do than watch Sally, what we’re really thinking is…
Not another fight. Come on you guys, this marriage is getting so tedious. What we wouldn’t give for the good ol’ Zou Bisou Bisou days or a trip to Disneyland.
When Megan, after hearing about his firing Lane, asks Don: “Did you eat or just drink?” What she’s really saying is…
“I am going to be one of those wives who’s really holier-than-thou the older I get.”
When Lane throws up after his wife gifts him with a British Racing Green Jaguar, what we’re really thinking is…
How sad it would be to have someone have that much faith in you, knowing you’ve betrayed that trust and you won’t get to see that much pride shine in their eyes for who knows how long. Lane may have made this bed, but it sure is uncomfortable having to watch him try to lie in it.
When Julia asks Megan if there any movies “without abortions or foreigners in them,” what she’s really saying is…
“I want to see something with sex, but not sex with consequences. And I don’t want to have to struggle to understand what people are saying.” So while we think she’d love Alfie for the fun time promiscuity, she’d likely get pretty tired of Michael Caine’s accent, unfortunately.
When Megan gives Sally boyfriend advice, what we’re really hoping is…
Ten years from now when Sally is a young bride getting married to Glen, she will remark to Megan about how her advice in the coffee shop this day was when she first realized she had feelings for Glen.
When Lane breaks his glasses in half when attempting to kill himself in the Jaguar, what we’re really thinking is…
He’s so vain he doesn’t want to be buried wearing his glasses. We know we should feel sorry for him, but really?
When Sally refers to her dad’s place as “Megan’s” when on the phone with Glen, what we’re really thinking is…
She really, really likes Megan. That’s wonderful, but also a pretty sad statement on how close she is with Don that even though he’s her dad, and his money clearly paid for the digs, it’s only Megan she cares to chill namedrop.
When Lane goes to the office to type something up, what we’re really thinking is…
Imagine if the typewriter broke?
When Sally tells Megan to break a leg at her audition, what we’re really thinking is…
How awesome Megan’s shoes are with the white block heel.
When Sally greets a ’stached Glen at the door in her white go-go boots, what we’re really thinking is…
Finally she’s getting some use out of her sassy boots. Too bad they’re going to a museum and not a party with dancing. We hope those bums recognize how amazing her boots are.
When Glen cracks wise at the museum about the herd of bison being a family: “I hope so, otherwise what were they doing? Walking around saying, ‘we just need a baby to finish this diorama.’” What we’re really thinking is…
Some great first-date witty banter, Glen. Keep it up.
When Sally gets her period in the Museum of Natural History, what we’re really thinking is…
Kind of obvious? She’s in a museum that celebrates the circle of life and she’s on a date talking about doing it.
When Roger and Don go and see Ed Baxter and the rest of the Dow Chemical suits and Don closes with a promise of what he’s willing to do for them to dominate: “I won’t stop until you get all of it.” What we’re really thinking is…
Can you say the same about how hard you’ve been working for SCDP to dominate?
When Scarlet comes in with the ledgers saying that Lane’s office is locked and he hasn’t come in at all that day, what we’re really thinking is…
Uh oh, this does not look good. Please be at the Jaguar dealership getting your car fixed.
When Betty says to Megan: “She became a woman today. She started.” What she’s really saying is…
“Enjoy this second-hand Sally news.” If only Betty knew how disgruntled Megan feels about having to babysit Sally with no notice or when Don is working, she wouldn’t feel so competitive. Betty thinks she’s delivering a knife twist with: “I think she just needed her mother,” but Megan seems pretty uninterested in the whole thing. Period chats, they’re not for everyone!
When Megan tells Glen to wait for his train and finish his paper at the apartment, what we’re really thinking is…
Screw Sally and getting the jump on knowing about the period first, how jealous would Betty be if she knew that Glen is now hanging with Megan?
When Joan goes to unlock Lane’s office and can’t get in and goes to the guys for help, and they see something awful, all we can think is…
No, no, no. Sure Lane was a bit of a weenie, but every office needs one. Also, can’t you just picture Harry gossiping about this later with every secretary who’ll listen?
When Betty gives Sally a hot water bottle, lies down with her and has a talk about women’s “responsibilities,” what we’re really wondering is…
Maybe all it took for Betty and Sally to find common ground was the onset of womanhood.
When Bert says to Roger and Don: “Lane hanged himself in his office.” What we’re really thinking is…
Bert should change his name to Blurt; the guy has no tact.
When Don frantically says of a still-hanging Lane: “We can’t leave him like that.” What he’s really saying is…
“I had a brother who hanged himself and the guilt of that is coming crashing back.” We’re sure Don is upset about Lane’s death, but thoughts of how his brother hanged himself because Don (Dick) rejected having him in his life is also contributing in a major way to his reaction.
When Roger finds the envelope addressed “To my fellow partners” and it’s a “boilerplate” resignation letter, what we’re really wondering is…
Will his family get any kind of insurance despite his technically having resigned? What kind of message is he sending to Don with a form letter? That he didn’t come up with an elegant excuse, so what was the point?
When Glen asks Don: “Why does everything turn out crappy?” What he’s really asking Don is…
“Why am I supposed to think things get better when I’m an adult when I know they won’t?” Sally may have tried to cheer him up that Henry’s life became amazing once he hit adulthood, but hey, he’s also married to Betty which Glen knows is no picnic. When Glen sees Don come home miserable, despite having a nice wife and okay apartment (there’s no second floor!) it’s clear that life sucks now and will suck later as a grownup as well.
When we see Glen driving and the jaunty music plays, what we’re really wishing is…
Megan, Julia and Sally were going to see a movie called Butch Draper and the Sundance Glen or Easy Driver. (Yes, we know Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Easy Rider both didn’t come out until 1969.)
Mad Men airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on AMC. Tune in next week for the last episode of season five, where we’re sure there won’t be any kind of crazy news at all and everyone will just be really happy and in a great place by the end of the hour.
