True Blood Recap: We take wardrobe cues from Bill and Eric’s death harnesses, Pam and Salome’s seductive robes and a…contortionist

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True Blood Recap: We take wardrobe cues from Bill and Eric’s death harnesses, Pam and Salome’s seductive robes and a…contortionist

By Siofan Davies | June 25th, 2012 | 11:00 am

So last week we totally thought Eric and Bill were both going to meet the true death at the hands of the Authority, and Tara was going to kill Sookie and Lafayette and the show would just be about Pam, Sam and Terry the rest of the season. No, we did not think that at all, but that’s basically the gist of episode two’s danger scale. Will anyone die this week? Nope, but there is lots of sex, which is way better.

Roman’s Empire
- Back at the bloodsucker boardroom, the chancellors loudly debate what to do with Bill and Eric for not ending Edgington. That little kid chancellor makes us think of those Frosted Mini Wheats commercials where adults who love fibre turn into kids who love sugar—his suit should fit too big or something.
- Roman kicks the squabblers out and gives a speech about Russell being a martyr that will give the Sanguinista movement more momentum, so he needs to be stopped.
- Bill promises to catch Russell or die trying (Eric is, uh, silent). Roman dismisses them for his next meeting with the “new Nan Flan” who is… Steve Newlin. Who else would it be?
- Roman and Steve talk strategy. Steve thinks humans will buy anything he sells. Roman puts his cockiness in check: they’re not just talking meat, they’re vamp ancestors. More talk of Sanguinistas bad, Authority good. We feel like we could teach a theology course on vampires by this point: The Rise of Modern Vampirism.

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Nicole

The harness contraption is called the iStake, hence the subsequent “There’s an app for that.” joke.
Siofan

Oh! Thanks Nicole. I thought it was the Isaac, as in the biblical story and thought it was pretty sick to be calling it that. But it’s True Blood.

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