True Blood Recap: Alcide goes Rambo, Tara goes full-on Showgirls and the Tupac hologram makes its way to the small screen (not really)
You guys! Stuff happened last week that we’re still kind of recovering from. True Blood killed off Roman. That’s like killing the Pope of the vampires. Is this a Dan Brown novel? So yeah, Russell was captured, but someone slipped him the key to his handcuffs and he offed Roman as the rest of The Authority top brass looked on. Oh, and some other stuff: Hoyt got van-napped by the supe shooting hillbillies (who Sam is hunting down with Sheriff Andy), Alcide was challenged for packmaster, Terry left Arlene so the fire curse wouldn’t feel threatened by her fire engine red locks, Lafayette’s mom told him Jesus needed his help and Jason and Sookie visited that fae club to see Hadley and learn more about their parents’ death.
- Post-Roman staking, there’s pandemonium and then Russell is caught in silver while Eric is somehow safe (despite it looking like Russell was going to get his Talbot revenge).
- Salome invites Eric and Bill to join her and Nora (not for an orgy, sadly) and welcome Russell, who she freed. Eric is pissed at his sis. Russell goes on about being born again, but Eric and Bill aren’t into joining the Church of Lilith and the Latter Day Sanguinistas.
- Salome gives a speech to her fellow Chancellors about Russell’s sins being forgiven in the name of Lilith. Dieter dissents, and gets decapitated. Salome passes around Lilith’s blood like she stole her parent’s hooch for a slumber party and they all act like taking one shot is going to get them wasted. And it does!
- The nine of them, including Bill and Eric, head down Bourbon Street in New Orleans tripping out. Russell Edgington is giving us a Corey Feldman (when he took Drew Barrymore to the Oscars and hung out with Michael Jackson) vibe.
- They hit a private karaoke party and binge on some boring white people, and group-hallucinate naked Lilith cheering on their blood sport. Eric’s trip also conjures up a judgy Godric, telling him to save his sister. I bet Hologram Tupac hates Hologram Godric in Hologram Heaven; he’s such a downer.
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