Previously on Canada’s Next Top Model: My favourite girl was sent home, and everyone immediately forgot her name because she was unmemorable. Not. We open with several girls talking about how much they’re going to miss “Jackie.” Mo goes so far as to say it’s her saddest day in the house. OK, I’m glad they all liked Jacqueline, but these girls should be rejoicing every time someone else is kicked out and they get to stay! Only Cori has the right idea, saying, “Numbers are shortening down, and I’m kinda likin’ it.”
The other girls don’t have much time to mourn, because as soon as they return home from elimination, they discover that the product placement fairy stopped by and left them each a cute digital camera. “Eight megapixels!” Sinead cries joyously. The girls immediately start snapping, printing and plastering pictures all over the wall.
The next morning, the contestants convene to watch the latest Jay Mail. “The game is on, and some of you are already walking on thin ice,” Jay says. “So get ready to face off with the master.” I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming—of course, no Canadian show is complete without hockey! Sure enough, the girls head to the rink and meet up with a hockey team…and ANTM’s Miss J, in from Los Angeles and freezing his butt off in a hockey jersey and black tights. He informs them that he’ll be their model coach for the day and wants to see how graceful they can be on and off the ice.
What kind of Canadians are these girls? When Miss J asks them to glide across the rink, only Rebecca and Cori can manage it at all gracefully, with most of the others needing a hockey player’s assistance to stop. Poor Mo has never skated before and, of course, attempts to walk, not glide, falling flat on her ass. This, like Sinead’s little fainting spell last week, earns a close-up and dramatic music as we cut to commercial. I don’t know about you guys, but I was on the edge of my frickin’ seat waiting for the show to come back! I mean, she could have a bruise or something!
Next, the girls change into heels and strut down a red carpet for Miss J. “The way that I [help the girls relax] is just let them know that, you know, we’re not perfect,” Miss J says. “I mean, I’m perfect, but they’re not perfect.” Hee! Miss J says Mo looks like a wind-up toy and tells Tia she needs to control her “moneymaker.” Then he mimics Sinead and Gina’s bad walks so well that all the girls can immediately tell who he’s mocking. Can we keep Miss J? I love him.
Stacey McKenzie, the girls’ regular modelling coach, shows up to accompany the girls to MuchMusic headquarters, where they participate in this week’s challenge: a walk-off for the MuchOnDemand audience. The girls wear veils and matching pink catsuits, carrying different items so the audience members can tell them apart. Tia has a Swiffer. A Swiffer! Gina and her pompoms get a great reception (though I wonder how much of this is due to the black thong visible through her catsuit), but Tara earns the most applause and therefore the prize: a diamond watch.
Most of the cattiness this week comes from Tia, but Tara seems to have captured the position of Head Bitch, with Gina as her number two. In a great four-way confessional, Cori, Tia, Mo and Steff complain about the girls daring to order Steff not to sing in an elevator. We don’t get to hear Steff’s singing voice, but it’s gotta be better than real elevator music, so I’m pretty confident I’d be on their side.
Then we’re treated to my absolute favourite scene of the series so far: The girls decide to take headshots of each other, labelling them with their names. Everyone participates—except Tara, who brushes off Tia’s photo request. Tia gets back at her, though, saying, “I was like, ‘Here, Mo, take a picture of my ass.’ She did, I put it up, and we didn’t label it, like, ‘Tara’ or anything like that—that’s just cruel. But I just wrote ‘An Ass!’” We see the picture of Tia’s ass in a pink thong, hanging on the wall at the end of a line of headshots, and it is fabulous. I can’t stop laughing for a good 30 seconds.
The next day, the girls learn that it’s time to film a commercial for Venus Breeze razors! What, already? Don’t these shows usually wait until the final few episodes to torture us with the models “acting?” Sinead and Cori do OK, but Mo can’t enunciate properly, Gina bobs her head too much, Steff brags that she’s been acting since she was eight (then promptly forgets her lines), Rebecca sounds angry, and Tia runs into dyslexia-related issues. Tara is the worst, though—she recites in a halting monotone, vaulting me into horrible flashbacks of elementary school.
Nighttime brings the girls another Jay Mail. “So you learned a lot this week. I mean, skating, waking, talking—that’s a lot to handle!” Jay chirps. Jay, stop making my jokes for me!
Miss J is the guest judge this week, and he and the others laugh as the girls perform their judging-room challenge, demonstrating their “signature” walks in pencil skirts. We see their commercial, which is OK, but Jay informs them that this was a bad week and they shouldn’t put much stock in the order in which he calls them. He calls Tara, Cori, Sinead, Rebecca, Mo and Tia, leaving Gina and Steff in the bottom two. Steff has run out of strikes, and she’s sent home.
“I’m upset,” Steff tells us. Me, too, but only because I think she should have been kicked out last week. She deprived me of at least one extra episode of Jacqueline for no reason!
Next week: One of the girls cheats on her boyfriend (with a hockey player!), and the contestants engage in more drinking, more catfights and more multi-girl confessionals. Bring it on!
Watch Canada’s Next Top Model Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Citytv.
Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Final Week
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Heather writes:
I'm happy Steff is gone, but I'm kinda surprised she went this early. I had a bad feeling that she'd somehow end up in the top 3. i think Sinead has the best chance now.
—posted June 20, 2007 at 6:59 p.m.
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