Stop the presses! Kim Kardashian has officially moved on from professional sports players to polymath rappers. The mono-high pitch-toned reality star has been dating hip-hop mogul Kanye West for—get this—a whole two weeks. You know it’s serious because that’s like the length of her entire marriage to Kris Humphries.
The media got wind of the now highly publicized “showmance” after Kim was spotted leaving Kanye’s apartment the morning after their Hunger Games movie date in last night’s leather pants and a hickey. Later that day, Yeezy had the entire piano floor of FAO Schwarz roped off so Kim and him could get a lesson on how to play “Chopsticks” Big-stylez. Okay, that’s kind of cute extravagant.
In fact, a source told Us Weekly that Kanye thinks Kim is “his Beyoncé.” Next we’ll be hearing him say he wants a baby named Red Lichen. Come on. This cheapens the deep love that is Jay-Z and Beyoncé (have you seen her Tumblr? We teared up).
All right, all right. Maybe it’s true love. After all, Kim and Kanye do have some really important things in common: 1. Their names both begin with K! 2. They love the spotlight more than they love themselves! 3. They both have really bad fashion lines/collaborations (see this and this)!
Hmmm, we smell something fishy and it’s definitely not Kim’s fragrance line. For starters, West is no stranger to the odd publicity stunt. In 2007, the rapper faked a feud with 50 Cent when their competing albums were released on the same day, and later admitted to it.
Not to mention convenient timing: West just previewed his new track “Theraflu” in which he raps that he “fell in love with Kim.” Every story on the pair mentions the new single, leading people to YouTube the song (guilty). And listen to it (guilty). And maybe even put it on their iTunes wishlist (guilty). As for Kim, well, it’s obvious she could use a little positive press after her 72-day-long marriage.
Hollywood Gossip: “PR stunt, schmee-R stunt.” [Hollywood Gossip]
Gawker: “It’s still impressive that Kim found the one man on the planet whose affection can be parlayed into a ratings boon and tabloid frenzy powerful enough to save her from the aftermath of her Quickie Divorce of the Century disaster.” [Gawker]
New York Times: “It’s cruel April indeed.” [NYT]
Randi Bergman, online editor: “When I said that I’d still love Kanye as long he kept his mouth shut during awards shows, this really wasn’t what I had in mind. But if this is happening for real, all I ask is that they name at least one of their children Kouture.”