What Not to Do on Your Wedding Day: 15 Things I Learned by Screwing Them Up Myself
I’m one of the lucky ones. When I look back on my wedding day, I think of it as perfect—but that doesn’t mean it went off without a hitch or a tinge of regret. For instance, I grew up close to the railroad tracks and every day as a girl I looked down those tracks at the CN Tower from my schoolyard. As soon as we committed to getting married in my parents backyard I remember thinking, I want a gritty city-centric photo of my husband and I with the tracks and the CN Tower in the background. Maybe it would have looked terrible, but I’ll never know because we never did it. This didn’t ruin my wedding per se, but it’s a detail that got lost in the months and weeks leading up to our big day.
As you start planning your own wedding or gear up for your sister’s, here are 15 things to avoid on the big day.
Don’t have a huge wedding party.
Around the time of my wedding I fell out with a close friend. To include some of my friends but not her would have been glaring and weird so I chose just my two sisters. Large wedding parties require a group of disparate people to get along and hang out. Keep it small and the drama to a minimum.
Don’t forget to ask someone to be a photo wrangler.
I was that bride who wanted to have super casual, paparazzi-like photographs. If you barely know your photographer you can’t expect them to know what people are important to you. So I have some excellent shots of young hip friends but not enough of my aunties and uncles and lifelong family friends who made me the person I am. Ask a close friend or family member to help the photographer find the people that matter dearly.
If your wedding is large or has tricky logistical details, hire a day planner.
Day planners come in the day of an event to execute your wedding plan. They can pay out vendors, adjust flower arrangements, light candles and smooth over disputes.
Don’t forget to get a guestbook.
See ‘cool bride’ at the bottom.
Don’t forget to bring the wedding license.
We realized the license was in my house when the minister arrived and I had to send a cousin to get it.
Don’t wear heels on grass.
If I’d known I’d end up wearing flip flops within 20 minutes of saying my vows, I might have saved myself hundreds of dollars and the Chie Mihara shoes that now have dirt stains on the stems. Opt for a flat grass-resistent shoe.
Don’t invite anyone you’ve known for less than one year.
This is a hard one because often you are getting married during a very social, friendship-building phase in your life. But if you are limited as per your guest list this might be a good rule of thumb.
Don’t mix guests up while building a seating plan.
The. Worst. Avoid the urge to play musical social groups. A big part of being at a wedding is hanging with your pals. If you are forced to sit with people you don’t know, then your guests are stuck making small talk as opposed to memories.
Don’t use a too young flower girl or ring bearer.
Include them in the photos, but maybe not the ceremony.
Don’t forget the water.
This is especially important if you are having a summer wedding outdoors. On the very last minute I bought a bunch of bottled water because it was on sale. It was a hot July day and every single bottle was claimed and drained before the ceremony was over.
Don’t scrimp on food.
If you can’t afford to feed people, then reassess the party. Evening cocktails? Wine and cheese? Host a breakfast? Once we decided to get married in my parents backyard this meant less money on renting a space and more for food.
Don’t park your caterers too close to the ceremony.
I’m still haunted by a moment during my wedding when I could smell appetizers being prepared and wafting over the guests and into my vows.
Don’t make last minute tweaks to the venue.
If you’ve picked a location and you love it don’t do anything drastic after the initial staging. Shortly before my wedding we added extra lawn fertilizer to the grounds which proceeded to burn areas and leave yellow scorched patches of grass.
Don’t make last minute changes to your dress.
I added a bow to my waistline at the very last minute—it made me look like a playboy bunny. I hated it.
Don’t be the ‘cool bride’: be yourself.
If that means you’re nuts, embrace it. If that means traditional, be that. I thought I was too cool for speeches, guestbooks, staged family photos and an intrusive videographer. But the day goes by so fast! I now wish I got to read those silly guestbook comments or hear my father, who has since passed away, give a speech about me. And I’d love some proof that the day was truly as magical as I remember it.
