Mad Men Recap: Season 5 closes out with more affairs (and hints of future affairs!), more sixties-era psychosis and more punch-outs!
It’s the end of what’s been a season of fights and fat, suicide and stray gum, love affairs and LSD trips. Last week Lane ended it all, Sally got her period and Glen took a drive with Don. But this is the finale, and with the drama of Peggy leaving the agency and Lane’s suicide, what more can happen? Last season’s finale had a surprise engagement for Don and Megan, with Peggy saving SCDP from the brink with the Topaz pantyhose account—will this one give us the opposite, whatever that is?
Let’s see what the episode has in store »
When we see Don fighting a toothache with booze-soaked cotton balls, what we’re really thinking is…
Don’t mess with that lantern jaw and let it swell up bigger than Betty’s. Also, is that the sexy way to deal with a toothache?
When we see Megan’s mom is in town for a visit, what we’re really wondering is…
Does Roger know she’s back in town? Does Sally? We love that she tells Megan she shouldn’t keep things from her husband.
When Pete meets Beth and Howard on the train, and Howard says she’s going to visit her sister, what Pete’s really hoping is…
Beth is finally leaving her knob of a husband. Too bad it seems like she wants nothing to do with Pete.
When Joan says to Harry on the elevator: “For once, mind your own business, Harry.” What she’s really saying is…
“I know you’ve been gossiping around the office about Lane.”
When Don thinks he sees his dead brother Adam (the one who hanged himself) on the elevator, what we’re really thinking is…
How many of those boozy cotton balls did you have on an empty stomach this morning, Don?
When Topaz hates the word “cheap” and a stained-shirt-wearing Ginsberg freaks out, what he’s really saying is…
“I can’t handle the stress of no longer having Peggy in the office.” Even Stan is so bored of the dynamic of just him and Ginsberg that he’s worn an ill-fitting mustard suit jacket!
When Beth calls Pete and says she needs to see him, what he’s really thinking is…
“Why couldn’t you have come to the office in lingerie and a fur coat like I daydreamed?”
When we see Peggy busting copywriters’ balls about Ajax in her new job, all we can think is…
She looks so powerful in her red suit giving those copywriters heck, but she still brings her thermos to the office! Cute.
When Ted Chaough tasks Peggy with naming top secret lady cigarettes, what we’re really wondering is…
What kind of an awesome name will Peggy come up with? Maybe she’ll take her cue from The Rolling Stones and say they’re “Cool, Calm & Collected” or maybe after seeing Casino Royale with Don she’ll call them “Look of Love” cigarettes and have Dusty Springfield sing the song while smoking? Nah, probably something super clever like: Virginia Slims.
When Joan announces March will be SCDP’s best quarter ever, what she’s really thinking is…
“I wish Lane were here to get his oft-suggested bonus.” Doesn’t Joan look smart in her glasses?
When Beth greets Pete at the hotel because he’s “pathetic” and came, what we’re really thinking is…
That dress Beth is wearing is pretty pathetic. Fair enough she’s supposed to be at a hospital and didn’t bring her fancy lingerie, but couldn’t she put on something that doesn’t resemble a Disney (pre) princess dress?
When Pete says to Beth: “We’re only sad because we’re apart.” What he’s really saying is…
“I don’t want to face why I am really sad.” When he asks for just five more minutes, he clings to her like a life raft.
When Roger asks a French-speaking Marie: “What is Regina?” What we’re really thinking is…
Of course it’s that word that stands out to Roger, because it rhymes with you-know-what.
When Megan cuts Emily out of the Butler audition by asking Don to put her in the running for the commercial, what we’re really thinking is…
Why didn’t Megan think of this before? And, she’s sure not going to have many friends left if she keeps this up.
When Don explains to Megan why she shouldn’t want him to submit her reel: “You want to be somebody’s discovery, not somebody’s wife.” What he’s really saying is…
“The guys from the office are going to make it so uncomfortable for you (and me) on set it’ll make ‘Zou Bisou Bisou’ seem like you reciting scripture at church.”
When Joan and Don discuss why Lane would kill himself and she admits he wanted her, what she’s really saying is…
“I had sex with that Jaguar letch, the least I could’ve done is let Lane go to second base and want to live.”
When Marie tells Megan to stop feeling sorry for herself, and then calls her an ungrateful little bitch, what we’re really thinking is…
Marie makes Betty look loving. Maybe this is why Megan is so sweet with Sally: She’s giving the love and support she never got from her mom?
When Don visits Lane’s widow Rebecca Pryce, and she accuses: “You had no right to fill a man like that with ambition.” What she’s really saying is…
“I blame you all for his death.” Whether it’s their loose morals and affairs or that they gave him too many money concerns, we’re not sure. She always seemed rather controlling of him, but was that because she worried he wasn’t strong enough for the circles he travelled in or the American dream?
When Pete arrives home to Trudy, Tammy and pool plans, and she says he’s so much better when he’s had some sun, what he’s really thinking is…
“That’s why I wanted to move to L.A. with Beth.” His real response is to comment that Tammy could drown in the pool, but maybe he’s really thinking how tempted he is to drown himself?
When Roger says to Marie: “Stop being demure, you’re already on the bed.” What we’re really worried about is…
Will Roger have another heart attack? Nope. He does want to take LSD with Marie though, but she doesn’t want to take care of him, she just wants to get laid on that fancy gold bedspread.
When Don has to put a drunk Megan to bed, what we’re really thinking is…
Whoa, she’s really good at committing to guilt trips. Getting drunk just so Don feels bad about not putting her forward for the commercial is a page straight out of her lush mother’s playbook (we’re assuming).
When Marie tells Don about Megan’s mood: “Take my advice, nurse her through this defeat and you’ll have the life you desire.” What she’s really saying is…
“She’s just like her father. I broke his spirit, and you’ll break hers too.”
When Marie ends her conversation with Don by saying: “I have postcards to write.” What we’re really thinking is…
This is an awesome way to shut down a topic.
When Don goes under at the dentist and dreams of his brother Adam, what we’re really thinking is…
Don always has the most guilt-ridden dreams. We wonder what he’d be like on LSD?
When Pete goes to visit Beth in her frothy nightgown in the mental hospital and she doesn’t recognize him, what we’re really thinking is…
Pete should treat this like the movie Overboard and take Beth home and tell her he’s her husband like Kurt Russell did to Goldie Hawn.
When Pete tells Beth all the reasons why “his friend” had the affair, what he’s really telling us is…
Maybe Pete isn’t having this affair because he’s depressed, or even selfish (which he is), but because he has a long ago hurt that never healed. Daddy issues happen to boys, too.
When Don goes to the movies and runs into Peggy and they hug hello and sit together, what we’re thinking is…
Well, you know what happened the last time Peggy went to the movies? Or, how about when Don and Lane went to the movies? Please, no hanky panky.
When Don says to Peggy: “That’s what happens when you help someone, they succeed and move on.” What he’s really saying is…
“You’ve come a long way, baby”—that’s the Virginia Slims tagline FYI—“and I’ve moved on from being mad that you’re gone, but I still miss you.” They chat women’s cigarettes as she takes a drag, and talk about how she gets to go to Virginia to tour the tobacco factory. She even gets in a shot that it’s not Paris and we think about how Don threw that money at her, so there’s that.
When Pete lets it spill to Howard that he knows Beth is in the hospital and the two fight it out on the train, what Pete’s really saying is…
“I am totally self-destructing.” He doesn’t seem to care that Howard could (and easily would) tell Trudy about the affair Pete had with his wife.
When Pete shouts at the conductor: “Well, I’m president of the Howdy Doody’s Circus Army,” and gets knocked out by the conductor, what we’re really thinking is…
We’re all going to be replacing our email signatures with that title.
When Pete lies to Trudy about being in a car accident to explain his injuries and she suggests he gets an apartment in the city, what Pete’s really thinking is…
I never get what I want! Oh, wait…
When Don watches Megan’s screen test and smiles and then gets sad, what he’s really thinking (once again) is…
“You help them succeed and they will leave.” He’s been in this business long enough to see that Megan has something, and he can either try and snuff it out (like Marie suggested) or encourage it and risk losing her.
When the partners look at their new office space (they’ll have two floors!), what we’re really thinking is…
They ended last season on the brink, and there were some rough spots this season, but it looks like the agency finally has succeeded and has that second floor they were lying about last season. But at what cost?
When Megan looks overjoyed on the set of the Butler Shoes commercial, what she’s really thinking is…
“This is the start of all my dreams coming true.” She’s dressed like a princess in red (just like Peggy earlier, and Joan in the shot previous) and we can’t help but think of the lines to that classic song Disney used so much in their fairy tales: “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” But for how much longer will Don continue to be her Prince Charming?
When Don walks away from Megan to the strains of Nancy Sinatra’s “You Only Live Twice,” sits by himself at the bar and orders his old favourite drink, an old-fashioned, what we’re really thinking is…
Nancy Sinatra may sing “You Only Live Twice,” but hasn’t Don lived more than two lives by this point? There are two men in him (Dick and Don), two agencies (Sterling Cooper and Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce) and two wives (Betty and Megan, and well, technically Anna, but she doesn’t count)—what’s next?
When Peggy sits happily in her Virginia hotel room drinking wine, what she’s really thinking is…
“I’ve made it. I finally have it all.”
When Pete sits there listening to music with his eyes closed, what we’re really wondering is…
What does Mad Men have in store for him? He’s so unsettled. He’s like a Richard Yates character. He has success, but unlike Peggy, has no clue how to enjoy it.
When Roger looks out at the city from his hotel window, fully naked, what we’re wondering is…
Did he drop LSD by himself?
When the pretty young thing saddles up to Don at the bar and asks him if he’s alone, and he gives her an unreadable look, what we’re dying to know is…
What’s going to happen next season?
Thanks for following us this season of Mad Men. We can’t wait to see you next season, and until then we’ll Zou Bisou Bisou miss you!
