Project Runway All Stars recap: Our feelings on Austin’s win, April’s blood ombré, Kara’s hand gestures, and Georgina Chapman’s nude lipstick
As I crawled into my burrow to watch this week’s All Stars, it occurred to me that I was perhaps approaching the new/old cast with too much unwarranted resentment. I know that you know just how difficult it is to resuscitate an old love for the formerly eliminated—that’s why we appreciate being given a blank slate with each new season of Project Runway Old School. This week was a lesson in moving on, not just for me, but for the contestants. Really, it’s not so difficult to see one another with fresh eyes! All that’s needed are new bangs, and the most affecting change of all: editing.
We chart our feelings throughout the episode »
The Challenge
The guys have to create a high-end glamorous look, to be tried by guest judges Mark Badgley and James Mischka. Austin mentions that he’d like to pattern his career after those guys, and all I can say is he’d better get a-tanning, or better, cut Badgley off. Only Michael Kors (or Valentino) should to be that toasty.
Overall, this doesn’t seem like a degrading challenge at all.
Chilled, Concerned About Next Week -8
At Mood, April and Michael are making similar dresses again, complete with flashbacks to the mop thing from last week that really wasn’t a big deal. Stop trying to make that a thing! What is troubling is that Swatch the dog has yet to make any appearances on All Stars. Are his owners concerned that they’re giving it away for free? No, they are not concerned about that.
Joanna Coles obviously worked something into her contract about not having to supervise the trips to Mood. I miss Tim being there to make them even more flustered by telling them they have eight seconds left and then questioning their fabric choices. Now there’s Mila, half-heartedly saying “15 minutes, guys,” like some boom-operator just persuaded her to do it.
Li’l Despair -7
The Workroom
Austin keeps name-checking his Season 1 self. I love him, but that adorable popinjay needs to stop living in the past! So, everybody called him the King of Couture—I’m just going to take his word on that. It’s like taxes, I held onto those memories for seven years, and then I set them on fire and threw them in the garbage with my receipts.
Austin’s “Did I hear my name?” during Rami’s meeting with Joanna is perhaps the best thing I’ve ever seen in life, and more significantly, in the workroom at 1407 Broadway.
Beguiled for 30 Seconds +20
[grab of Austin being adorbs]
April is soaking her garment in a bucket of blood, explaining to Joanna that she’s pulling the ol’ ombré trick on her dress. A word about ombré: participants are constantly showing off their ombré skills on Project Runway Pedestrian and the judges are like “ombré, ombré, I can’t get enough ombré!” April bringing up ombré just makes me wonder: what happened to Andrae?
Smile Slowly Fading to Frown, a.k.a. Facial Ombré -10
Joanna Coles gets real physical during her critiques. I like it—what a sensual woman! Also, does she moonlight as Tilda Swinton?
Kara, who is mostly coasting on her Season 2 rep these days, has been letting her hands do the talking this episode—and not by making a mind-blowing dress.
Something to consider! I would pay good money for there to be a moratorium on people saying “It could go either way,” on any of the Project franchises. Hear that Gordana? I will pay you. That means more iridescent fringe.
The Runway
Of Gordana’s dress, Michael Kors might’ve said (shrilled) something along the lines of “She looks like a Ukrainian stripper caught in a gay fisherman’s net!”
Mondo’s dress is sort of Madame Barbarella. I love it, even though—let’s face it!— it’s weird. And it’s impossible for Mondo not to say one outrageously sweet thing per episode, like the way he pronounced “Cleopatra” as “Cle-oh-patra.” What a goddamned heartbreaker.
Happiness +50 = This Kitten
I don’t know if showing the fabrics used will be a regular occurrence, but I’m pleased to see that Jerell used something called “Power Mesh.”
April’s dress looks like it got its period.
Scandalized, but Not Really -2
Austin takes it home! Is there anyone who expresses more unrestrained joy over people liking his work than Austin “King of Couture” Scarlett? I would let him win every week if it meant walking into this palace of wonder as often as possible.
Gaiety +15
By and large, this was an excellent episode. Besides Sweet P’s bundle o’ dress, the looks were pretty great. Georgina Chapman wore a neutral lip, and I realized that besides never blinking, Angela talks like she’s trying to suppress a British accent. Austin exceeded his own expectations, all while wearing a bowler cap. Best of all, the judges are starting to bust out the existential quandaries on the runway, demanding that the designers really show them “Who they are.” Something about April really has me rooting for her. She’s the (metaphorical) Ty of All Stars, with that toner-blue hair and her menses dress. It’s just a matter of time before she tells the All Stars’ Cher (Austin, obvs) that he’s a virgin who can’t drive.
Total: 58; or 8 and a Kitten
